forgive me my sins

my dear little one,
forgive me my sins. forgive my transgressions against thee. your innocent self is not the cause of my self-abandonment. should I lose myself, I hope to retain my love for thee and not the pity.
forgive me, wee child my love. I strive to set a good example of behaviour to you and I fail day after day.

I want to be a fount of patience.
I want to be a fount of love.
I want to be a fount of wisdom.

I yearn to care for you as you deserve.

The ceaseless demands on my energy and waking hours sap my strength of will; I count to four and four again. I am ashamed I get satisfaction from giving you discomfort when that is easier than giving you comfort. Forgive me.

I have an aching back; I have a pained forearm. I am sleep deprived. I do not have sufficient recuperation time to regroup myself. I have alot ofhousework to do before I can be satisfied with my home environment.

sweet darling, I love kissing your baby-soft skin. I love your gentle milky scent. I adore your tuft of Tintin hair; I love the start of the curl on your forehead. Your gurgles and gummy grin, with your long lashes framing dark brown eyes, apple-cheeked laughter...adorable.

your hands grow ever larger, and nearly the size of my palm.

You have got me surrounded and out gunned.

I love you, and I won't give up. (I feel like I want to though.)