Tuesday 26 March 2013

Flashback: pregnancy, new mum


Flashback.

I remember what I hated about being pregnant. Unable to eat properly. Hunger. Thirst. Unable to find a satisfactory beverage. Peeing. Constipation. No sushi. No rare beef. No sashimi. No hummus. No cold-cut sandwiches. No fresh salad from cafe. No cold chicken drum to gnaw on. No Caesar salad. No runny poached eggs. Chorfing pills. Needles. Scans.

I remember what I hated about being a new mum. Sleep deprivation. Resentment with my sleeping husband. Feeling sorry for myself as I stood over the sink, leaking milk for an hour. Unable to eat properly, as my baby wants my attention just when I want to eat. Unable to meet my high expectations of going for a walk with my baby.

Counterpoint.

I remember what I liked about being pregnant. Eating delicious food, like chicken don. Eating adult servings of food, like a full-sized Burger Fuel Bio Fuel burger. Eating crisps for lunch supplement, and not feeling the guilt. I like the feeling of a baby in me, kicking against my hand.

I remember what I liked about being a new mum. Watching my baby asleep, the expressions chasing across an innocent face. Holding my newborn close. Mostly, I love the joy my child has given me as he grows and shows the wonders of his world to me.