Saturday, 30 June 2012

Flashback: PND moment

Feeling so tired. Too tired to plan a meal. Too tired to brush teeth. Too tired to floss teeth. No time to bathe.

Easier to neither eat nor bathe.

Pain radiating from wrist. Joints still to recover from pregnancy. Still to recover fully from episiostomy. Painful to pick up baby. Cannot leave baby to cry. Cannot pick up baby. Cannot soothe baby.

Always doing laundry - sorting, washing, hanging, bringing them in, sorting, putting away.

Demanding baby.

No time to make food to eat nor make warm drink to drink. No time to eat nor drink.

Feed baby. Burp baby. Clean up after baby reflux.

When to sleep? Need clean house for baby. Want clean house for me.

Hate bathrooms smelling of urine. Cannot bend down to clean spray/splash back.

Husband whines when I ask him to clean my way - spray the damn area and wipe with cloth. He gets out the mop from downstairs and mops the whole floor. Nice, thorough. But you have to clean the floor each time it gets dirty - either urine or milk splash. He whines and grumbles. I don't ask him anymore. I ignore dirty bathroom as often as I can until I can't stand the stain on my life, and I spray, bend down and wipe. My crotch hurts. My waist hurts.

I didn't know being a new mother was like this.

Thanks goodness I have a loving husband, a great sister, a supportive father and mother and mother-in-law.

Friday, 29 June 2012

29 June 2012: baby update

"frog" + sign.


I love, I adore the way he selects a book and brings it to me to read with him. He puts the book into my hand - if it's too big and falls from his hand, then he may cry with frustration - and turns around and shuffles backwards until he deems he is in the correct position to plop into my lap (I'm sitting on the floor).

Wednesday, 27 June 2012

27 June 2012: baby update

"Botle botle botle puhto puhto puhto bahto bahto badu badu badu badu badu badu badu-"

Takes a breath, "Badu badu badu badu puhto puhto puhto pahto pahto pahto bahto bahto bahto-"

All the 30 minute drive to daycare school. The moment I turn into the carpark, silence from the back seat.


I do my best to engage Atilla with household tasks.

He has been collecting his re-useable wipe cloths since he was able to pull himself up to stand and reach the lower rungs of the laundry airer. He is bored with this now and no longer smiles with self-important pride of this accomplishment.

He made himself a toddler-sized 'broom' from a to-be-mended cloth foodcover. He uses it to sweep the floor. I was/am very impressed by his ingenuity in seeing this possibility.

This week he has assisted in making dinner, by peeling onions and putting the brown skins into the rubbish, and giving the peeled white onions to Dada to chop.


He is still obsessed by the picture of a wolf 'dog' hanging in the daycare supervisor's office. They have colour-copied it and given one to him. He still prefers the colour-copy in the office. The 'dog' pic is for May, which he would have seen for a couple of weeks before our holiday.


Atilla is still seeking Dada for comfort. Or, he is seeking reasons to stay up and so asks for the person not with him, thereby prolonging the indulgence of delayed bedtime.


He really likes bacon, and chicken liver. It was a very delicious meal by Dada. I'm so lucky.




I'm so happy with my life. I'm tired through insufficient rest. But my life is great.

I have a well-paying job. I have a charming son. I have a supportive husband. I've just had a wonderful holiday. My family gives me fantastic support. The team and atmosphere of Atilla's daycare school is so friendly and warm and educational. I have no money worries.

I'm enjoying this moment for as long as I have them. It won't last forever. So right now I'm absolutely Happy.

Tuesday, 26 June 2012

Verse: The Last Pinta Island Tortoise

There was once a tortoise named George
With two female companions he forged
No more of his line;
He firmly declined;
Au revior, sayonara Lonesome George.

[Some inaccuracy. Ed.]

Monday, 25 June 2012

Practice Limerick: Aardvark

The perils of an aardvark is dire,
Pray stay and have their fine points admired.
They are the survivors
Of Tubulidentata
Of whom all but they are expired.

Sunday, 24 June 2012

24 June 2012: baby update - new words

Oh sweet baby. How quickly you are growing and learning.

You are walking now. I've just noticed it today. You are very well balanced. I miss your wobbly toddle. But I'm very happy you are developing your physical skills.

Your capacity to learn is awe-inspiring. You learned many new words this weekend, possibly just today!


You learned 'teeth' the other week, but I didn't note when.


How you manage to time your demands on me is extraordinary. Just at the moment I begin to take my first bite of breakfast, or at the moment I begin to take my last bite of my meal - you demand my attention. Extraordinary. It's been this way since you were born. When you grow out of this phase, will I miss it? I don't know.

I want to help you. I want you to be able to become independent. I'd like you to stop making a mess please.


In any case, I enjoyed watching you 'cook'. I watch in wonderment. You know the correct way to hold the spice shaker to shake it into your cooking! You have been very observant, or else daycare has taught you very well.


I'd like to have the pleasure of teaching you cooking skills. My current idea is involving you in baking, or pancake making, each week. Something easy. Right now, I'm thinking Mini Gingerbread Cakes - makes 24 and you can take it to daycare to share. The most time consuming bit of this recipe is getting rid of the lumps in the batter but not over mixing.


Why do you continue to want to eat off my plate? It's the exact same food as on yours, though we have very carefully and lovingly cut up the pasta into bite-sized pieces for you. Yet you insist on pinching one long spaghetti from my plate and stuffing it into your mouth. If it wasn't so impolite, it would be adorable. It's very hard not to snicker at the messy spectacle. Dada is no help at maintaining a stern disapproving face.


You can be greedy, can't you? Or else I have forgotten the thinking processes of being a kid. You stuff your gob full of food, fill your right hand with food, fill your left hand with food, and nonchalantly slip off your chair to make a perimeter walk of the house. Oh no you don't. New rule for this growing baby: food belongs in the dining room.

Ugh! Such a ruckus and rumpus! Gnashing of teeth! Food falling every which way in your despair.

Curiously, perhaps thankfully, you have mainly exhibited anguished wailing to relieve your frustration. The next milestone I ought to expect is angry tantrums, yeah?


I think Dad and Mum now understand why their parents keep coming up with new rules for kids.

Saturday, 23 June 2012

Bringing up baby: memories What I Love About You

* how you use your senses to investigate your world,
* your common sense,
* your laughter,
* your quiet contemplative times,
* how you use everything to interact with your world,

Friday, 22 June 2012

23 June 2012: new baby milestone

w00t! Atilla is able to let mummy and dada sleep in! For the past few mornings with us, he comes into our room, into our bed, and snuggles in.

He no longer wails to be taken down stairs!

So gonna enjoy this while it lasts.


 As we were having dinner tonight, I begin to speculate I may not want another baby.

Atilla has begun to practise the table manners he learned at daycare. Not throwing food around. Concentrating on eating. That kind of stuff.

And I find this sooo soothing. I relinquish a little bit of my anxiety.

Now, when he makes a mess it is sooo intentional. But I know he can feed himself and not make a big mess. He only makes a mess when he gets bored.

I enjoy not being anxious. I like having myself back. So, I am not certain I want to go through the feeding-anxiety again.

p.s. tonight I had to clean the dining table and the dining room floor to remove the grease from Atilla's dinner.

22 June 2012: new baby milestone

I'm being side-lined. Baby begins to prefer Dada. Yippee!

Now I get a chance for countless gaming time. I may be able to play Zelda's Skyward Sword!

Finish off the baby buggy blanket I started in 2010!
Bake muffins and cakes!
Creative writing!

Or, more housework.

Thursday, 21 June 2012

21June 2012: baby update

To my great relief, Atilla has resumed the standard change nappy position - lying on his back.

For a very long time - since he learned to stand (before his first birthday) - he has battled against the lying down technique. This behaviour was trying for everyone concerned: mum, dad, grandma, auntie, teachers at daycare.

Sometime on our vacation, he decided he would lie down again. I don't recall when. I was busy changing him. I was too focussed on the Change Nappy routine. I remember I didn't have to chase him around the room.

I thought I ought to note this milestone.


Atilla combined two spoken words appropriately! "No bird" Dad reported.


I'm compiling a list of essential and useful words Atilla ought to know, and parents to recognise in NZSL.

In no particular order and non-exhaustive:
Full ('I'm full')
Water ('drink water')
Thank you

Atilla is very familiar with Hello and Good-bye. He doesn't use them though. I wonder why?

23 June 2012
Correction. He does use Hello and Good-bye. Just not with me, for real.

He uses it with me in Peek-a-boo games. He uses Good-bye with others, and in games.

For instance today he was in a pay-machine helicopter in the Meadowbank shopping centre. Sadly, the machine was 'broken' ;-) though the girl ahead of him had "fun" sitting in the machine while it moved up and down.

Though mum was obtuse, Atilla finagled his way into the machine. I think he had more fun than the girl who sat so quietly in the machine.

Atilla sat on the floor of the helicopter, as he could then reach the buttons and flashing lights and joystick on the dashboard. He grabbed the heavy lock on the coin-box and it made a dulled thwacking noise as it knocked against all the metal. He pressed the buttons. He fiddled with the security chains, pulling at them and exploring them. He stood up and sat on the seat, emulating the little girl. It was boring. He stood up and his head just missed touching the roof. He grabbed the joystick and wiggled it. He grinned and smiled and said Good-bye to people walking past. Loads of fun. He pressed his hands on the plastic windscreen.

He couldn't have done all that if the machine was moving.

Besides, he's been on something more exciting: the grown up carousel on Brighton Beach!