Bringing Up Baby: Changing Habits

It's not been easy. I have finally convinced Atilla to change his habit of requiring a tit to suck on to go to sleep.

It is approximately 3 weeks, I suppose, since I started on my one person crusade. Certainly, with no help from him.

As always, it begins with ungentle persuasion. Suck suck suck, pause, suck suck suck, pause, suck suck, pause pause. (He's becoming very sleeeeepy... I break the suction hold - to great prolonged protest, as Dad can attest from the next room.

I murmur quietly to Atilla, "It's cuddle-time, sweetie. It's cuddle-time."

And firmly remove the fixture from his mouth, out of his desperate questing scrabble, murmuring all the while, "It's cuddle-time," and stroking his back, holding him close, putting into practice Cuddle-Time.

We do this each time I am the one to put him to bedtime, or nap. For twenty days.

Last night was the same routine.

"It's cuddle-time, sweetie, it's cuddle-time."

"Wahhh," he sleepily whines. Then is too tired to continue this train of thought, and drops off to Noddyland.

***

Just now, the same routine from my side. Slight change in reaction from his.

"Sweetie, it's cuddle-time."

Cue desperate last minute sucking from him. Then he quietly releases, and settles down for a cuddle. I cuddle him close.

Wow. We - he and I - have a breakthrough.

***

Atilla did wake me at 3.50am GMT. Yawn. We walked around the block, said hello good morning to some early denizens, of whom only two returned our greetings. Atilla really enjoyed the walk, though mostly he was carried.

I am so glad he's taking a nap now.

20 May 2012: Elimination Communication update 3

I can confirm. Atilla does understand when he needs to poop, and to tell us so.

Evidence: we were at Hong Kong airport, and he was happily playing when he suddenly became perturbed.

"What's wrong, honey?"

"Poo-oop," he declaimed worriedly.

"Okay sweetie, give your biscuit to Daddy."

Daddy volunteered to take Atilla to the male toilets. What a hero!

***

Report back.

The loos are splendid things, though oddly shaped. Atilla made a great set of poop, as he was held over the toilet seat. And more importantly, he held onto his biscuit at all times, not once dropping it anywhere.

Bringing Up Baby: Elimination Communication update 2

In the middle of 2nd breakfast, Young Atilla this morning got my attention. He grabbed my hand.

"What's up, honey? What can I do for you?" I enquired.

"Poop poop," he declaimed. I am astounded. And, bemused. Like, for real?

Really? You really want to poop now? Am I understanding you correctly?

He insistently toddles off out of the kitchen, bringing me with him. To the toileting room. To the toilet.

 He stands expectantly by the toilet and pats it expectantly. I do the Toilet Routine: I lift the lid, and put on the child toilet-seat; I remove his trousers and nappy. He refuses - "Nuh" - to sit on the seat, and speedily wanders into the hallway.

 "Sweetie, you said you wanted to poop poop," I said, collecting him handily and placing Atilla on the seat. He sits comfortably and waits for nature to take its course.

We participate in time-occupying activities such as taking each bath toy and placing it on each others heads - "Haht" (Hat) - and putting it on his feet - "Shoo" (Shoe) - and blowing across the top of an open bottle, and placing bath toys on the top of the bottle - "Haht". The Gravity Game is always popular.

We spent quite some time waiting for the first hard knob to exit his system. I could smell it. Eventually Atilla had had enough. He made an approximate handsign for "Finish", and said "Doon" (Down).

"Honey, let me check your butt." Sure enough, it was a knot of knob, easily removed.

"Do you want to try pooping again?" He made no protest on being put back on the seat. We multi-tasked some more, with occassional grunts from Atilla as he concentrates on the primary reason for being there.

Sound and fury, signifying nothing. Interspersed, I show him the handsign for 'poop'. Unexpectedly, he attempts the sign too. Wow.

We continue on this vein of activity for a while. Dad then came through, and suggested a changeover of supervision.

Once Atilla understood the proposal, he was quite unhappy and decided he had finished with the pooping activity.

We do the Change Nappy Routine: put baby on the mattress, try to put nappy on baby. Atilla still protested.

"Sweetie, do you still want to poo?"

 "Nuh," he said unhappily anxious.

 "Well, it's time to put a nappy on."

 "Nuh," he said more unhappily, this time in a bent over position indicative of speeding up the evacuation process.

"Let's try the toilet again, just in case."

Atilla is repositioned.

"I'll stay with you until you're finished."

This helps him calm down, and we return to diversionary multi-tasking activities. We do this a very very long time, interspersed with Atilla's face-making, faecal odour, and splashing sound as the shit hits the water. Then he decides he is finished - "Doon".

We do the Cleaning Up Routine; we do the Change Nappy Routine: put baby on the mattress, try to put nappy on baby. This time baby co-operates, and the nappy is quickly put on.

This is the second time he (16.5mo) has taken me to the toilet specifically to poo. On the third time, I will know we really have Elimination Communication going.

13 May 2012: a delightful day

I had an excellent day. Thank you Atilla. I love you, Daddy.

12 May 2012: another great day

Another great day from Atilla. He woke up earlier than preferred by his parental units, but he did entertain himself - climbing into my bed, clambering over my face, getting out of bed, climbing into my bed, clambering over my face. I got the hint eventually, and allowed myself to be persuaded to wake up. The sun wasn't up yet. Sir ate his breakfast beautifully, feeding himself his weetbix. It gave me time to make Dad's tea, and English muffins for myself. We had a lovely family breakfast - yay! It wasn't even 9 am yet. We played, I cleaned up after breakfast, Dad prepared goat casserole in the slow cooker. Then we got out of the house to visit Western Springs park. Our target: ducks, geese, swans. We met the bird life there, and Atilla was very pleased - everything that wasn't "bird" or "dog" or "baby" was pointed out with a gleeful "duck". Whether it were geese, pukeko, moorhen, cockerels or chickens. The playground there is fantastic. For all age groups! The drawback is that it is mostly in shade, and cold in autumn/winter. Memo to self: playground pack should include a towel to dry seats, a jumper, and a spare change of trousers. He napped in the car on the long way home via Dominion Road bakery. He woke up in our garage, tearful. We settled him back down, and he ate well enough to have energy to play, and go out again to the local playground, with Dad. Wow. Got back, I settled him down for an afternoon nap around 3. He slept well, to about 4.30. He woke, tearful, but he settled back down again to his interrupted play. What a life. Auntie and Uncle visited briefly. We the family played together until bath time, he bathed, then played some more until dinner time. he ate dinner sufficiently, then played some more until I insisted it was bed time. "Upstairs, brush teeth, book, and bed." This was another enjoyable half hour or so. I read him books as he sat on my lap. It was really bedtime though. So into bed, lights off, and settling down to proper sleep with a song or two of tunes. Good night my sweet.

25 April 2012

It was another lovely day with Atilla. It was a unprepossessing start: 5.30am wake up (my fault) but he managed to settle himself back to sleep to 6.30, whereupon he engaged himself in pushing books into my hand. I slumbered as best I could until I could no longer fake unconsciousness. He was quite lovely and good natured about all this. He smiled and hugged me, and I read a book to him. We meandered downstairs, I faffed about making his breakfast. As it is a non-work day, I made an attempt to have breakfast with my son. (On work days, he has his breakfast while I prepare the take always for the family. I have breakfast in the car or at work.) Dad had breakfast with Atilla, which is very nice. After my breakfast, Atilla preoccupied himself with keeping me engaged with him. Dancing, carrying, spilling water or milk on the floor and mopping it with a cloth or towel. Eventually I was given time to take a shower. Feeling cleansed, I felt able to present myself outdoors and take Atilla along. So we did. The local playground was quite busy with kids and parents and babies. Atilla had fun taking charge of the expedition. Hand-in-hand, we walked the perimeter of the playground twice. The grounds has a wee bit of a boundary 'wall' of varying height depending where you stand. Atilla discovered the one area where he could step over the 'wall' and he was in! He watched the kids, he pointed out the babies, he signed at the birds, he climbed up the slide, he climbed the stairs to the slide, he slid down the slide, he signed "more", he played the piano keys, he enjoyed the swing, he signed "stop". He vocalised "babi" so we visited the closest baby. We went home, etc. Then in an effort to have him nap, we drove to another playground - this time in One Tree Hill. It was teeming. Atilla awoke from his nap (I had attempted to emulate him) and we set off on the mission: bubbles in One Tree Hill. Everybody had fun. Bubbles were generated in the gentle breeze, it floated far and high. Other children came to play, and other people smiled. Atilla enjoyed watching the play. I carried him at one point to catch some bubbles Dada made. We went to the playground proper, where I was forbidden to use the bubble wand. Atilla had fun taking charge. And now I want to sleep. Good night.

Bringing up Baby: Elimination Communication update

Atilla is over 14 months old. He is more charming than ever. Today was one of our best days - so far I have counted 3 Best Days.

He was in a great mood when he woke up in the morning, he ate well, he was very patient on our errands, he napped well-ish, he woke well, he played well, he poo-ed well, he ate well, he played well, he's sleeping well.

I promised an update on EC.

For a unbearably long time Atilla took to standing on the loo to poo or wee, and I found it quite stressful as the wee mite was crying so hard as he was poo-ing, not to mention the mess to clean up afterwards depending on the type of stool and the spray radius of the toilet.

Then he started daycare and it was one less stress for everybody.

Lately we are working well together. He makes a sudden fuss, he gets taken to the toilet, he is put on the toilet, he sits, he poos and poos and poos, he smiles and reaches out to be taken off the toilet, I wipe his butt butt, he is patient as I wipe, I put him down, he occupies himself, I clean up and flush the toilet. Then we go together to the next room to put on the new nappy.

Changing nappy is another process which will go no further here.

So on the whole, the training of parent and baby has been worthwhile time-wise and money-wise.