Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Bringing up baby: regrets, and other news

Sadness from mummy. I have regrets.

I am regretful I haven't played with him as much as I used to. I am regretful I worked so much and hard in October.

And so, I don't know my little boy so well anymore. I am regretful for that, too.

I love him so much, and I don't know how to show it. I am lacking time to look after the house, care for my Bundle, and care for Tilly. Toys and TV are a poor substitute for quantity time.

Last week was good. As a family, we were at the playground. This week, we had lunch together and then went to the playground. I just need to be more mindful and make AND take opportunities to be with my son.

My body is still in too poor a shape for me to be as physical as I need to be with an active pre-schooler.

Tonight was sad for me. Daddy was looking after the house. Tilly brushed his teeth, mucked around by himself. Then took himself to bed quietly. He didn't want me, he wanted Daddy.

My sadness.

Last year, or earlier this year, I was His Best Friend. I got the Polar Bear (second-best toy after Koala), the one to play "Bye Bye" with, to go tree climbing with.

I miss how we used to push Tiily-in-a-box around the floor before bedtime. I miss reading to him. I miss playing with him.

In other news, Bundle is absolutely gorgeous, with the most charming smiles.

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