Bringing up baby: Memory - dancing

One of my favourite activities with Tilly: dancing.

Most of the time Our Song is "Umbrella" covered by The Baseballs. (youtube)

He used to be much shorter than me, so I'd haul him up onto our dining room chair to get to my height, and then I'd dance around him; twirls, be-bops, half-hugs. It culminates in his big scene.

He is heaved-ho'd and swung out off the chair, then laid out on the floor (on a mat) and then quickly pulled up Whoosh! into a fling.

***
It was lovely to have him so eager to dance. The moment he heard the opening notes, he'd rapidly search for His Chair to dance in. Yes, kiddo, I did smirk at Christmas when your chair was appropriated for Christmas lunch, and you couldn't find it to dance in.

The last laugh was on me, as now he doesn't even try to use His Chair anymore. sigh. He's close enough to my height, where I can do twirls under his arm (if I bend down limbo style).

***
Anyhow, dancing with him is one of my fondest memories. Definitely makes the Bucket List.

Bringing up baby: 7 clothes named!

Tired. Again.

Still, managed to name seven of Tilly's clothes so he can wear them to daycare and have them be returned to him.

There's at least seven and seven more.

Bringing up baby: Holiday edition

I've had a splendid holiday with my family. I've done many of the things I've wanted to do for the past few weeks when summer arrived.

* Went to the zoo.
* Went to Panmure Lagoon pool - splashpad.
* Played in playgrounds whenever possible.
* Went to the beach (Mission Bay), and playground.
* Visited One Tree Hill, and playground.
* Enjoyed tea & biscuit with Tilly (31 Dec 2012).
* Enjoyed playing with Tilly.
* Had lunch just with husband. (Turns out he's Daddee too, as we both missed Tilly.)

This morning Tilly settled in very well at day care.

Bringing up baby: 29 Dec 2012

Tilly has been requiring new shoes for the past few weeks. Thankfully it's been a bare feet kind of weather, or slippers at home sort of days.

Today was the best opportunity we had for getting him new shoes.

We made an expedition to Stomp in Howick, and was probably the first customer of the day. Tilly didn't want his foot measured. So we fooled around. He pushed me around for a bit. We eventually got him to try on a new pair of shoes, but he flip flopped in them like wearing oversized clown shoes.

He pushed me around a bit more. He tried on his second pair of shoes, and they were a good fit. He walked out of the shop with them.

When we got home, he didn't want to take them off at all. He protested strongly and emotionally.

***

Ah Ee's report (edited):

We went to Little Rangitoto Park for 2hours. He extended himself a fair bit... He had a big proud smile when he managed a climbing/walking thing by himself after following minor instructions from me on foot and hand placements cos he got stuck. We also went on flying fox, once. Then it was time for a drive till he snoozed.
 When he woke up, he found himself in Ah Ee's house. After a bit of animal watching and a nappy change and milk, we went to Bird Barn. He learnt 'big fish', 'tadpole', 'dove' and 'noisy birds'. He didn't like the rats. He liked the kittens, puppies, turtles, rabbits and water fountain.
 Then it was to the playground for nearly two hours - went on helix slide, tunnel slides and swing - including walking over to bike park to watch big boys do stunts on bikes and scooters.
 Then it was to Ah Ee's house for bath time and played 'Da-dum Da-dum' (Jaws theme) until he was ready to get out of bath.
 He learnt we don't play when having dinner. He learnt 'not that' means he doesn't touch-handle specified object. He learnt where he can sit for dinner and where he cannot sit during dinner (i.e. place where he plays up.)
 Then it was home time. As we're about to head down the stairs, he heard tv noise from our neighbours so he sticks his face up against their screen door, looking. A few mins later, he allows himself to be persuaded to depart. Next level down, he meets P- for 2nd time. Many encourage nets of bye bye P- and as we're about to walk down steps, he says several times 'bye bye P-' as we walk down steps and into garage and car.

Bringing up baby: Happy Birthday!!

Highlights:
* Tilly insistently toddling down the pathway to see giraffes and zebras.
* Tilly's supreme incoherent excitement when he sees a Real Live Elephant(tm) for the very first time! As Daddee tells it: Tilly gasped breathlessly, "-lf -lfa elpha-". He was awed.
* seeing the hippos have their morning tea; what large river horses they are.
* going through the meerkat tunnels with Tilly. He was very adventurous, and took charge of the direction half-way through. He's so small still, he could and did stand upright in the tunnels while everyone else was bent over. He climbed out of the tunnels all by himself.
* Tilly investigating the chicken.
* Tilly climbing the dragon.
* Tilly's fascination with the seals. We were in the underwater section, where one of the walls was glass. The seals continually swam towards the wall, and glided away again. The seals are so large! "Wow" says Tilly, impressed. "Wow".
* Everyone coming to Tilly's birthday celebration at the zoo.

***
The long awaited party was much anticipated, with carefully contained excitement kept well-away from the personage of high import.

Who knows what balls-up could happen?

People may not come. The event could be cancelled due to rain. Or excessive sunshine.

Guests were firmly told to meet at the zoo car park at 9.30am when the zoo opened, as we were going in a group and as hosts, we were paying.

As it transpired, the weather report was for cloud cover and some humidity, in between the few days of rain and wind.

On the morning, the grandparents mentioned it was raining on their side of the city. What was our contingency plan? Go to the zoo car park, and if it's still raining at 9.30am when it opens then we go to the aquarium.

On the morning, Ah Ee mentioned it was raining in her part of the city. She didn't want to walk in the rain, thank you very much. And Ah Ma didn't want to go to the aquarium but would settle for the third choice of the museum.

On our way to the zoo car park, it began to spot rain. Arriving at the car park at 9.15am, it stopped raining all together. The car park was quickly filling up. I called the guests to tell them to get here quickly; it was the zoo or nothing.

Grandparents were another 30mins away. Tilly and Daddee went in 10mins after zoo opened. Grandparents and I waited for auntie and uncle. In the end we went in without them, as they were another 30mins away.

In conclusion, we all saw as much of the zoo as we could withstand, and we had a very good day, and it was all worthwhile to have Tilly's breathless fascination with Burma the elephant, and the seals.

***
The day started off very well too, with Tilly and me spending the pre-morning together.

After the zoo, and his nap, he got cake once auntie and uncle arrived. He likes his cake very much, which I am very happy and pleased about. Daddee made the cake the night before, and I 'iced' it while Tilly napped.

Bringing up baby: late December 2012

I've been busy, and tired. So not many updates.

We've been having many pleasant days, where we all go to bed content with ourselves. We laugh a lot, and have fun playing with each other, go to the playground, sing, dance, and a nice bedtime routine.

Tilly has begun brushing his teeth again, after a hiatus. The solution was to start Brush Teeth routine before Mummee got too tired to put up with Tilly's faffing.

On Saturday, 22nd Dec, he woke up before his parents and decided he wanted to play with me. I was still asleep. That didn't deter him. My hand was made to hold my cellphone and to press buttons so the screen lit up.

Yesterday, 23rd Dec, he woke up before his parents and decided he wanted to play with me. I was still asleep. That didn't deter him. He sat and stared at me until I decided I ought to wake up. I opened my eyes, and received the nicest, biggest grin from the most sweetest face. I laughed, and hugged him.

This morning, 24th Dec, he woke up before his parents. He decided he'd play by himself. He muttered and talked and discovered the wonders of an undefended parental bedroom. He found a few bits and bobs - a discarded card holder - and explored in his idiosyncratic manner "Dadee" "found" "all gone" "finish".

***

He likes my singing. He has requested songs. He knows the classic Jingle Bell song. He will tell me when he wants to get into his own bed to sleep. He has a penchant for Daddee to help him sleep. But he'll settle for Mummee after a long episode of whining. We just got to get to the end.

***

Yesterday I established that when Tilly is wailing, he can hear me speak and understand the words I say. It's been a routine where he wails so loudly, I keep repeating myself in an effort to have him hear and understand me, to the point I lose my temper and lash out by shouting or absenting myself from the situation abruptly and ignore him, and he wails even louder which antagonises me even more.

Last night, before I felt myself reaching the lashing out apex, I decided I wasn't going to repeat myself four times (which is my trigger: I don't enjoy nagging people). As Tilly is wailing his utmost as usual, I spoke at my normal level of voice.

"Tilly, you aren't listening to me, so I'm not going to listen to your crying."

He looked disbelieving, and continued his performance.

"Tilly, you aren't listening to me so I'm not listening to your crying."

He came to an almost sudden halt, with a couple of hiccoughs.

He evaluated his options. He stopped wailing and chose something else to do.

***

Ever since I obtained the vocabulary list from this survey, and conversed with a few parents of toddlers around the same age as Tilly, I've decided to try to expand my repertoire of conversation with Tilly.

I've done my best to give him some grounding in languages other than English. My ability in the other languages have been reached. So now it's grammar time.

Admittedly, Tilly's 1- 2-word vocabulary is absolutely charming, and I am loth to not hear it for much longer. However his frustration tantrums is quite infuriating to everyone in the household.

On balance, I'll live with the sentimental loss.

***

The day I spent with Tilly at daycare, I learned more of Tilly's socialised tendencies.

He has been bullied. When other kids 'share' (aka take things away from him), he waits for authority to intervene, or becomes sad and finds another activity. This 'downtrodden' reaction is how I've been brought up, and I want better for my boy.

His teachers explain to Tilly he can tell the other kid to "stop". But without modelling of that new behaviour, or role play, Tilly is unable to internalise the new reaction.

My solution to Tilly's nice nature: it's okay not to Share; it's acceptable to hold on tight to the object and shout "Mine!"

He is a nice boy. He does know how to share. He often shares things he isn't possessive about with people he cares about.

It can wait until later to learn about sharing things you care about with people you don't care about. 5yo. Or 6yo. When he's cognitively strong enough to process the strong emotions that will entail. Many adults haven't surpassed that stage yet, and get quite selfish with such things as public access across their land to public beaches, forests, shared ancestral land, rubbish bins, stationery. Toothbrushes.

So, I praise him when he stands up for himself against Daddee or Mummee.

"Mine!"

"Hey, that's good Atilla. Good standing up for yourself."

I may regret this. He is itenaried to start the Terrible Twos.

 ***

He saw our Christmas tree. He stood, and he looked.

"Christmas tree!" He stood, and looked.

"Christmas tree!"

He stood, and he saw. "Santa" (puppet Santa)

***

He really has been a lot of fun.

I wish the same joy for everybody.

Merry Christmas!

Bringing up baby: 12 December 2012 immemorable

This morning Tilly had to poop.

He was also quite -gruntled. Nothing was good enough. Everything was worthy of discussion and counter-thrust.

It had to be Daddee helping him poop. Mummee had to be in the same room. Elephant tissue box had to be played with, to help him relax enough to poop.

And he just had to muck about with Elephant's trunk. And pull it in half. And dissolve into tears. And work himself up to a right state of anxiety.

Assertions that we would fix up Elephant after daycare only prompted more passionate wails.

Daddee stayed with Tilly through all this. Mummee piked out for the last 5-10mins.

I came back in time to help the Clean Butt routine, and subsequent processes.

***
"Now, Tilly," I said as I held him in my lap, "You're feeling sad. Are you sad because Elephant's trunk is broken?"

He is unable to verbally answer, but his crying decreases in decibels.

"We can fix Elephant after daycare."

He starts to tremble and shake.

"You want us to fix Elephant now?"

His crying lessens further.

"Okay, we'll fix Elephant now." I give instruction to long suffering Daddee to bring the operation materials: tape.

Daddee brings the tape. I carefully and dedicatedly peer and prod and manipulate the two pieces of Elephant's cardboard trunk together; Daddee gives me a piece of tape; I tape the trunk; Daddee gives me a second piece of tape; I tape the trunk.

Tilly's tears have stopped.

***
Tilly asks for Elephant's company in the car. "大 象 [da xiang]?"

"No Tilly, Elephant has to rest now. Lion will look after the bathroom."

He allows this.

***
An hour after Tilly had to poop, we leave the house.