Flashback: PND moment

Feeling so tired. Too tired to plan a meal. Too tired to brush teeth. Too tired to floss teeth. No time to bathe.

Easier to neither eat nor bathe.

Pain radiating from wrist. Joints still to recover from pregnancy. Still to recover fully from episiostomy. Painful to pick up baby. Cannot leave baby to cry. Cannot pick up baby. Cannot soothe baby.

Always doing laundry - sorting, washing, hanging, bringing them in, sorting, putting away.

Demanding baby.

No time to make food to eat nor make warm drink to drink. No time to eat nor drink.

Feed baby. Burp baby. Clean up after baby reflux.

When to sleep? Need clean house for baby. Want clean house for me.

Hate bathrooms smelling of urine. Cannot bend down to clean spray/splash back.

Husband whines when I ask him to clean my way - spray the damn area and wipe with cloth. He gets out the mop from downstairs and mops the whole floor. Nice, thorough. But you have to clean the floor each time it gets dirty - either urine or milk splash. He whines and grumbles. I don't ask him anymore. I ignore dirty bathroom as often as I can until I can't stand the stain on my life, and I spray, bend down and wipe. My crotch hurts. My waist hurts.

I didn't know being a new mother was like this.

Thanks goodness I have a loving husband, a great sister, a supportive father and mother and mother-in-law.

29 June 2012: baby update

"dragon"
"frog" + sign.

***

I love, I adore the way he selects a book and brings it to me to read with him. He puts the book into my hand - if it's too big and falls from his hand, then he may cry with frustration - and turns around and shuffles backwards until he deems he is in the correct position to plop into my lap (I'm sitting on the floor).

27 June 2012: baby update

"Botle botle botle puhto puhto puhto bahto bahto badu badu badu badu badu badu badu-"

Takes a breath, "Badu badu badu badu puhto puhto puhto pahto pahto pahto bahto bahto bahto-"

All the 30 minute drive to daycare school. The moment I turn into the carpark, silence from the back seat.

***

I do my best to engage Atilla with household tasks.

He has been collecting his re-useable wipe cloths since he was able to pull himself up to stand and reach the lower rungs of the laundry airer. He is bored with this now and no longer smiles with self-important pride of this accomplishment.

He made himself a toddler-sized 'broom' from a to-be-mended cloth foodcover. He uses it to sweep the floor. I was/am very impressed by his ingenuity in seeing this possibility.

This week he has assisted in making dinner, by peeling onions and putting the brown skins into the rubbish, and giving the peeled white onions to Dada to chop.

***

He is still obsessed by the picture of a wolf 'dog' hanging in the daycare supervisor's office. They have colour-copied it and given one to him. He still prefers the colour-copy in the office. The 'dog' pic is for May, which he would have seen for a couple of weeks before our holiday.

***

Atilla is still seeking Dada for comfort. Or, he is seeking reasons to stay up and so asks for the person not with him, thereby prolonging the indulgence of delayed bedtime.

***

He really likes bacon, and chicken liver. It was a very delicious meal by Dada. I'm so lucky.

***

"turtle"

***

I'm so happy with my life. I'm tired through insufficient rest. But my life is great.

I have a well-paying job. I have a charming son. I have a supportive husband. I've just had a wonderful holiday. My family gives me fantastic support. The team and atmosphere of Atilla's daycare school is so friendly and warm and educational. I have no money worries.

I'm enjoying this moment for as long as I have them. It won't last forever. So right now I'm absolutely Happy.

Verse: The Last Pinta Island Tortoise

There was once a tortoise named George
With two female companions he forged
No more of his line;
He firmly declined;
Au revior, sayonara Lonesome George.

[Some inaccuracy. Ed.]

Practice Limerick: Aardvark

The perils of an aardvark is dire,
Pray stay and have their fine points admired.
They are the survivors
Of Tubulidentata
Of whom all but they are expired.

24 June 2012: baby update - new words

Oh sweet baby. How quickly you are growing and learning.

You are walking now. I've just noticed it today. You are very well balanced. I miss your wobbly toddle. But I'm very happy you are developing your physical skills.

Your capacity to learn is awe-inspiring. You learned many new words this weekend, possibly just today!

Car,
Bottle,
Cockerel,
Crap,
Shit,

You learned 'teeth' the other week, but I didn't note when.

***

How you manage to time your demands on me is extraordinary. Just at the moment I begin to take my first bite of breakfast, or at the moment I begin to take my last bite of my meal - you demand my attention. Extraordinary. It's been this way since you were born. When you grow out of this phase, will I miss it? I don't know.

I want to help you. I want you to be able to become independent. I'd like you to stop making a mess please.

***

In any case, I enjoyed watching you 'cook'. I watch in wonderment. You know the correct way to hold the spice shaker to shake it into your cooking! You have been very observant, or else daycare has taught you very well.

***

I'd like to have the pleasure of teaching you cooking skills. My current idea is involving you in baking, or pancake making, each week. Something easy. Right now, I'm thinking Mini Gingerbread Cakes - makes 24 and you can take it to daycare to share. The most time consuming bit of this recipe is getting rid of the lumps in the batter but not over mixing.

***

Why do you continue to want to eat off my plate? It's the exact same food as on yours, though we have very carefully and lovingly cut up the pasta into bite-sized pieces for you. Yet you insist on pinching one long spaghetti from my plate and stuffing it into your mouth. If it wasn't so impolite, it would be adorable. It's very hard not to snicker at the messy spectacle. Dada is no help at maintaining a stern disapproving face.

***

You can be greedy, can't you? Or else I have forgotten the thinking processes of being a kid. You stuff your gob full of food, fill your right hand with food, fill your left hand with food, and nonchalantly slip off your chair to make a perimeter walk of the house. Oh no you don't. New rule for this growing baby: food belongs in the dining room.

Ugh! Such a ruckus and rumpus! Gnashing of teeth! Food falling every which way in your despair.

Curiously, perhaps thankfully, you have mainly exhibited anguished wailing to relieve your frustration. The next milestone I ought to expect is angry tantrums, yeah?

***

I think Dad and Mum now understand why their parents keep coming up with new rules for kids.

Bringing up baby: memories What I Love About You

* how you use your senses to investigate your world,
* your common sense,
* your laughter,
* your quiet contemplative times,
* how you use everything to interact with your world,